Chapter Sixteen, Part II

Still Valid

The drive north begins quietly.

Jack keeps one hand on the wheel and the other near the gearshift. Adrian places his hand over it before they have reached the main road.

Jack turns his palm upwards and closes his fingers around Adrian’s.

They drive that way until the road begins to curve inland.

For the first hour, they speak only when necessary. Jack asks about the temperature. Adrian changes the music. They stop for coffee beside the highway and drink it in the truck because neither of them wants to sit beneath fluorescent lights with strangers.

When they return to the road, Adrian’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

He reads the message and puts the phone face down on his thigh.

“Work?” Jack asks.

“No.”

“Someone checking whether you’re still alive?”

“Something like that.”

Jack glances at him. “Who?”

“A friend.”

“That narrows it down.”

Adrian looks out through the windscreen.

“Thomas.”

“Thomas.”

“You do not have to repeat it as though you are entering it into a database.”

“I’m learning about your life.”

Adrian turns towards him.

Jack keeps his eyes on the road.

“You haven’t mentioned him before.”

“We have not discussed everyone I know.”

“We’ve discussed Daniel.”

“That was different.”

“Obviously.”

Jack shifts his hand on the wheel.

“So who is Thomas?”

Adrian considers the question.

“He is probably the person who knows me best.”

Jack glances at him again.

“Best friend?”

“I dislike that expression.”

“Why?”

“It sounds as though we should have matching bracelets.”

“You could.”

“We could not.”

Jack smiles.

“How did you meet?”

“We worked together when I first began flying. He left the airline several years later.”

“What does he do now?”

“He works with exhibitions for museums. Lighting, installations, logistics. The things visitors never notice unless they go wrong.”

“That sounds like your kind of person.”

“What does that mean?”

“He makes sure everything works and doesn’t need anyone to clap for him.”

Adrian looks at Jack.

“That is surprisingly perceptive.”

“I have hidden depths.”

“I am beginning to understand that.”

Jack’s thumb moves across the back of Adrian’s hand.

“What do you do together?”

“Eat. Talk. Sometimes travel. He takes me to exhibitions and becomes irritated when I look at the wrong things.”

“What are the wrong things?”

“Fire exits. Cracks in the ceiling. Whether the staff appear to know what they are doing.”

Jack laughs.

“So exactly the things you’d look at.”

“Yes.”

“Does he know about me?”

Adrian does not answer immediately.

Jack’s hand stills beneath his.

“He knows there is someone.”

“Someone.”

“He knows your name.”

“That’s better.”

“He also knows you live in California, repair things and have an alarming disregard for proper kitchen equipment.”

“He knows about the knife?”

“He knows about the knife.”

Jack looks offended.

“You told a man on another continent about my knife?”

“It bent while cutting bread.”

“It still cut the bread.”

“It surrendered halfway through.”

Jack shakes his head.

“What did you tell him about Cambria?”

“Nothing yet.”

“Why not?”

Adrian looks down at their joined hands.

“Because I do not know how to explain it in a message.”

Jack is quiet for a moment.

“What will you tell him?”

“The truth.”

“Which part?”

Adrian turns towards the window.

“That I went away with a man I had met only a few times.”

“Sounds irresponsible.”

“That he tried to repair a window that was not broken.”

“It didn’t close properly.”

“That he had never eaten carbonara.”

“I’ve corrected that.”

“And that when it was time to leave, I did not want to.”

Jack’s grip tightens around his hand.

The road continues ahead of them.

After a while, Adrian asks, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Who knows you best?”

“Sam.”

“She is your sister.”

“She still counts.”

“Yes. But apart from Sam.”

Jack thinks about it.

“Ben, probably.”

“From the fire department?”

“Yeah.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Since the academy. We were both too stubborn to quit and too stupid to admit we were terrified.”

“What does he do now?”

“He stayed. Made captain a few years ago.”

“And you remained friends after you left?”

Jack looks through the windscreen.

“Some people don’t need you to keep doing the same job to remember who you are.”

“What do you do together?” Adrian asks.

“Fix things.”

“That is not surprising.”

“Drink beer. Watch games neither of us cares enough about. He and his wife have a place with a deck that keeps trying to collapse, so apparently I’m responsible for that now.”

“Does he know about me?”

“No.”

Adrian looks at him.

Jack turns his hand beneath Adrian’s.

“He knows there was someone I met,” he says. “I didn’t tell him much.”

“Why not?”

“Same reason you didn’t tell Thomas.”

Jack glances at him.

“I didn’t know how to explain it.”

Adrian watches the road.

“And now?”

“Now I have a bigger problem.”

“What problem?”

“I have even more to explain.”

Adrian smiles.

They speak about other people after that.

Not everyone. Not in order.

Adrian tells him about a woman he has known for nearly twenty years who always knows when he is avoiding a subject. Jack tells him about an older neighbour who taught him how to rebuild an engine and still calls whenever a light bulb needs changing.

They talk about birthdays, dinners, favours and the small routines that turn acquaintances into people whose absence would alter a life.

By the time the first airport signs begin to appear, the truck feels both too small and too temporary.

Adrian checks the time.

Jack notices.

“We’re fine.”

“I know.”

“You checked ten minutes ago.”

“I know.”

“Pickup is at four thirty-five.”

“I know what time my pickup is.”

“Just making sure.”

Adrian turns towards him. “You have become very interested in schedules.”

“I’m adapting.”

“To what?”

Jack looks at him.

“You.”

Traffic thickens as they approach the city. Their conversation becomes less continuous. Jack keeps one hand on Adrian’s thigh whenever the road allows it, his fingers moving occasionally as though confirming Adrian is still there.

The hotel appears ahead of them.

Jack pulls into the drop-off area and stops behind a shuttle bus.

For several seconds, neither moves.

People pass in front of the truck with suitcases. The hotel doors slide open and close. Somewhere nearby, a car horn sounds.

Adrian looks at the entrance.

“My uniform is upstairs,” he says.

“I remember.”

“And the rest of my luggage.”

“I remember that too.”

Jack turns off the engine.

Adrian unfastens his seat belt.

Jack catches his wrist.

“Wait.”

Adrian looks at him.

Jack does not seem to know what he asked him to wait for.

His hand moves from Adrian’s wrist to the side of his neck.

Adrian leans across the space between them.

The kiss is immediate and deep. Jack pulls him closer until Adrian’s shoulder presses awkwardly against the centre console. Adrian holds Jack’s face in both hands, kissing him with the same need that had kept them in bed that morning.

A vehicle moves into the space behind them.

Neither man moves.

When the kiss ends, Jack keeps his forehead against Adrian’s.

“Send me the dates,” he says.

“When the next roster opens, I will bid for LAX.”

“You think you’ll get it?”

“There are no guarantees.”

“I know.”

“Los Angeles is not especially popular compared with some of the other American destinations.”

“Their loss.”

“Possibly my advantage.”

Jack kisses him once more.

“Send me the dates anyway.”

“I will.”

“And if you don’t get one?”

“I may be able to exchange a trip with someone.”

Jack nods.

Adrian touches the back of his neck.

“Do not begin reorganising your entire life around a roster I do not have yet.”

“I wasn’t planning to.”

“That answer was too fast.”

“I’ll reorganise selected parts.”

“Jack.”

“I heard you.”

Adrian studies him.

Jack’s eyes have become bright again, but this time he does not look away.

“I’ll see you again,” he says.

Adrian’s hand tightens at the back of his neck.

“Yes,” he says. “You will.”

Jack gets out and retrieves Adrian’s bag from the back of the truck.

They stand beside each other on the pavement.

Adrian takes the handle, but Jack does not release it immediately.

“No goodbye?” Jack asks.

“No.”

“Good.”

Adrian steps closer and kisses him once more.

The kiss is shorter this time. Behind them, the hotel doors continue to open and close.

When Adrian moves away, Jack’s fingers slide from the handle of the bag.

Adrian walks towards the entrance.

He reaches the glass doors before turning around.

Jack is still standing beside the truck.

He raises one hand.

Adrian does the same.

Then the doors close between them.